The Prostate Song by Alex P.
Well my prostate’s the size of a melon
And it hurts when I stand up to pee
And I can’t take the pain and the swellin’
I hope cancer’s not what it might be

Well all the tests that I took came back negative
And I do not feel otherwise sick
Still it takes me an hour to start peeing
of just standing there just holding my prick

So won’t you help me oh doctor with me prostate
’Cause the HMO they won’t do shite
My urethra seems an endless tunnel
Filled with pain and where there is no light

Well I’ve taken so much ibuprofin
I’ve got ulcers but the swelling still stays
I’ve not taken a link without screaming
For a hundred and thirty-eight days

So must I now resort to extreme measures
And stick gardening tools through my back door
I will take the C-iron up the anus
But I’ll let the HMO screw me no more

So tell me will I die here this evening
Or will I feel better come morning light
Oh well for now only one thing is certain
That swollen prostate will not win this fight
Oh the prostate will not win this fight